600 Minutes of Swing

from by Johnny Setlist

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600 Minutes of Swing
I don't know where to begin
Although it seems quite smart
To begin at the start:

The first minute was easy
I was putting on my shoes
I was sure that I would make it
Until the end of the Blues

By minute three or four
I was having my first dance
And what better way to spend the time
As each minute advanced

Minute after minute
And song after song
My adrenaline was pumping
And my legs were feeling strong

It was twenty minutes in
When I first looked at my watch
And I noticed that I was already
Sweating from the crotch

Fifteen minutes later
And the sweating had increased
My forehead looked like it had just been
Baptised by a priest

And after the first hour
I looked like I had been swimming in the ocean
And the smell I was creating
Was causing some commotion

So I changed and deodorised
And was feeling quite refreshed
And I'm glad to say my followers
No longer seemed distressed

With a fresher kind of confidence
The first hundred minutes glided by
Then two hundred, then three hundred
I was half way though - oh my!

Then minute number three-hundred and eighty one
Oh, I was so thankful that the Blues had begun
My legs were aching, my clothes were all drenched
But I'm not about to surrender, what do you think I am? French?!

No, I won't give up, i'll dance these 600 minutes through
I'll dance until I wear some holes into my shoes
Cause dancing seems like the only thing I know how to do
And I'll dance until I give my own feet the Blues

And we all knows what happens when we overextend
When our body's given up, but our mind wants to pretend
By minute 505 I was asleep on my partner's shoulder
But it still counts cause a dance is in the feet of the beholder

By minute 550 I must have fainted on the floor
They told me I was a doing a move called "Crawling Toward The Door"
I realise now 600 minutes is longer than I think
And dancing for ten hours straight will bring a dancer to the brink
But there's one guy who can help you, but I hope you understand
That if you make a deal with the Devil then you'll be damned

But if you're looking to come out of it not too dishevelled
Then by all means slip down to Beelzebub's level
"Yeah, i'll give you the stamina, but there's a price you must pay
You can dance all of the dances, but you must dance them all with me!"

I hope you give my message a little consideration
I hope you don't choke your partner with excessive perspiration
I hope you don't fall into the grasp of temptation
So that next day's classes seem twice as long in duration
I hope you have fun, but don't wear yourself out
Cause in the end that's what dancing is all about
Cause after last year, well, i'm lucky to be alive
But if you heed my advice then you might just survive


from Silly Songs About Swing Dancing, released March 13, 2017



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Johnny Setlist Edinburgh, UK

Johnny Setlist makes music. You may listen or you may not. He is also quite fond of cake.

johnnysetlist [at] gmail.com

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