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The Zombie Apocalypse

from Silly Songs About Swing Dancing by Johnny Setlist

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lyrics

I was at a party at the start of the apocalypse
Being eyed up by a girl who led me into a kiss
Now, i'm not saying it wasn't pleasant, and I mean no disrespect
But she wasn't trying to kiss me; she was trying to bite my neck

I drew myself away, trying not to be impolite
But with yellow eyes and rotten flesh, something about her just didn't seem right
And at that moment I looked around, and noticed everyone else looked just like her
And I looked like the main course, and they like eager restaurateurs

I tried to shout for help, but was drowned out by their groans
And of course there was no signal, so I couldn't use my phone
And the internet was down, so I couldn't check my Twitter feed
Which is probably for the best, because a sarcastic comment saying "OMG Zombies!!1!" is the last thing anybody needs

They cornered me too quickly and it began to look just like the end
And that girl who tried to kiss me still looked intent on becoming a very close friend
I was surrounded, there was no escape, there was simply no way through
And, panic stricken, I couldn't think what to do, so I did the Tranky Doo

And oh my goodness, oh my gosh, it seemed to do the trick
Right before my eyes they started copying my kick-
Ball changes and fall off the logs, as they warded off their advance
It might sound like science fiction, but the cure seemed to be dance!

So needlessly making it harder I did the Big Apple routine
And their version of it was the best one I've ever seen
They knew every single move, and every break was hit
And they made Michael Jackson's "Thriller" zombies look like sh-
(Nah, they're actually pretty good in that video actually)

So I led them into a Shim Sham, and they were shimmying like pros
Where they got those variations from, well, God only knows
And the virus that inflicted them, it seemed to disappear
But I didn't try to understand it because, well, i'm not a biological engineer

So here we are with life again where dancing is the solution
But this is a zombie apocalypse, it's not Swing Revolution!
And amidst all the horror, and everything that was gong wrong
I realised most heinously I forgot to write a chorus to this song

(hmmm)

So here it is, and here we are at the zombie apocalypse
And if you want to survive, then here are some tips
Learn yourself some jazz steps, or start moving you hips
Cause it's the only way to survive at the zombie apocalypse

credits

from Silly Songs About Swing Dancing, released March 13, 2017

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Johnny Setlist Edinburgh, UK

Johnny Setlist is musician of sorts. Sometimes he talks in the third person.

Available for weddings/funerals.

johnnysetlist [at] gmail.com

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