Now I'll admit i've been wandering down a path of unhappiness
Simply because I cannot find a way in which to express
The feelings inside of me, the energy within
I've been lost for so very long, I just don't know where to begin

But then I came across a sight which inspired me to my core
I suddenly realised what it is that my life must be for
A scene of men and women - they were dancing to and fro
And they looked to happy I thought, "Hey, I should give it a go!"

So I went along to a Lindy Hop lesson
But the whole experience was quite distressing
I just couldn't move my feet in the right way
So I decided to leave it for another day

What's next? Oh yes! I'll give Balboa a shot!
And you can bet i'm going to give it everything i've got
But even with someone that close to my chest
I still feel over like Cary Grant in North By Northwest

But I wanna learn to dance, I wanna learn Ballroom
Though I dance like a mummy who's just been exhumed
And all the other dancers seem to assume
I am Strictly Come Dancing's impending doom

But I wanna learn to dance, I wanna learn to waltz
Even though it'll make apparent all my obvious faults
But i'll put on my tuxedo and impress my detractors
And if they're still unimpressed i'll feed them to Velociraptors

Now most people in my position
Probably would have given up on this mission
But if I could learn to dance my life will be complete
Even though everyone's saying it's an impossible feat

But undiscouraged, I tried Blues
I figured i've got nothing left to lose
And if I fail again, well, it might amuse me
But it wasn't funny when everyone who I asked to dance refused me

But I wanna learn to dance, I wanna learn to Jig
I want to learn to move, like a Higgs
Boson particle through a collider
Though I know i'll end up looking like i'm drunk on cider

I wanna learn to dance, I wanna learn to Swing
I want to be the dancing equivalent of bling
Shining on the floor, looking real cool
And if you're jealous, "SHUT UP FOOL!"

Now I think I've tried every style of dancing
And my ability is definitely not advancing
I don't know what else there's left to try
Oh wait: Oppa Gangnam Style!

Hey, I just met you
And this is crazy
But I love this song, so
Dance with me maybe?

All the other followers
They think i'm crazy
But i'm really desperate
Dance with me maybe? Please?

But I wanna learn to dance, i'll even dance on a pole
To be able to dance I'd sell the devil my soul
One thing i'm pretty good at though, and i'm not trying to brag
But a lot of ladies said I'm pretty good at the Shag

But I wanna learn to dance, I'll even be a ballerina
Hell, I'll even resort to doing the Macarena
Anything, i'll dance in any old way
I'll even do an interpretive dance to Fifty Shades of Grey

But i'll become a maestro of the floor
I'll dance until my feet are sore
Blues, Balboa, Lindy Hop
I'll dance until the music stops