I thought I might write a song to help win me the prize
I thought I might a song to get applause form you guys
But a minute isn't long enough to write a decent composition
At least one that's good enough to get me into first position
But none of this matters because i'm a shameless whore
I'll do anything to win, save from straddling the floor
I'll buy you a drink, i'll write you a song, i'll sing a version of "My Humps"
I'll bark like a dog, i'll moo like a cow, i'll do an impression of Donald Drumpf
I'll compliment you everyday - Hey, you're looking great!
I'll go and buy you medicine when you're constipated
We can go on holiday, i'll print your boarding pass
Or you can objectify me, i'll stand here wiggling my ...ass
My message is a simple one with no deep, hidden meaning
I'd like to win a party pass so I can dance in Sweden
But just in case my message and my meaning are unclear
When they point to me please give your loudest cheer